You want to make the world scream and hollow
because you fear you are nothing,
you are an unextraordinary,
unaborted caged regret.
I hate to be told “Smile, you look mean”.
So, what if I am?
Love is a buoy shaped like a triangle,
equal on all sides,
whose three points are Us joined from two whole “I”s.
I wonder if I like to stretch the future into forever, or at least into “not yet”,
so that I can delay decisions whose outcomes disappoint,
or require meeting great expectations.
Against the will of others, I lean hard.
I lean hard against my door:
iron; reinforced; made for struggle.
Sometimes when I’m on the floor, child’s pose,
I look under my bed at the empty untouched landscape,
It doesn’t need to be filled.
I would have been really good at love if only I had the chance.
X: You’re not as invincible as you pretend to be.
Y: I’m not pretending.
X: You forget, I’ve seen you curled up in the darkest corners of your life.
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
My name means gift from god.
But how can I be a gift from a thing that doesn’t exist,
or from an idea I don’t believe in?
I suppose it’s the thought that counts.